Tuesday's Mid Day Update

The plan has remained the same since early this morning. All the teams of doctors are in agreement that it is a blood clot in the vessels exiting her brain. They started her on scheduled pain meds so there should be less break through pain and they just started her on Valium to help with the anxiety, muscle tension and allow her to rest better. They're going to start her on a blood thinner in the next little while.

She had a rather rough morning. She was in lots of pain and had some difficulty with nausea after the sedation from the MRIs. The clots are also causing pressure on the area of the brain that causes nausea so she's taking Phenergan (anti-nausea med) to help with that. She's finally sleeping and seems to be much less tense so it's a relief to see her getting some relief from the pain and the anxiety.

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Friday Update

I'm sorry if we didn't get you called and you find out this way, but my sweet Aimee didn't surive. She's still on a respirator so her heart is beating but she's not with us. I'm really struggling right now. We haven't told our younger kids yet and I need to get some sleep so I can think. I'll try to post again later today.

Aimee's Marker

It's been awhile since I've posted. Things are still up and down for me. I sometimes feel guilty when I have good days. I think that is odd, but I try to remind myself that Aimee wouldn't want me to be miserable the rest of my life. It just feels like a betrayal to have a good day. I know that isn't true and I do combat those thoughts it's just another part of my grieving process. Next Thursday is Aimee's birthday. She would have been 18 years old. At times I feel cheated, but I know somehow, someday God will make it all right. We are going to do Aimee's temple work on her birthday. I'm really glad we're going to do something so positive on such a difficult day. I feel sad that it is the last thing I can do for her and in some ways want to save it for later, but I feel like this is the best thing for all of us. I don't want to stall her eternal progression and I think it will be wonderful to feel her so close in the temple that day! On Monday...

1 Year Mark

It's really hard for me to believe that 1 year has gone by. The last week was really hard. Two weeks ago I started having nightmares reliving the events of the last week of Aimee's life on Earth. After about a week of that I started getting better sleep without the nightmares, but still not really that great. During the day that week I was having flashbacks to what we were doing at that time a year ago. As you can imagine all of this really piqued my emotions. It was frustrating because logically I know I can't change the events and these nightmares and daymares weren't helping, but they'd come despite my knowledge of their futility. It has gotten better. Saturday we went to the cemetery to leave some flowers at Aimee's spot. We dug down about a foot and a half to find her marker. If we didn't know exactly where it was and the flowers from Christmas weren't there it would have been really hard to find. The flowers from Christmas were frozen in water ab...

Life is a Journey...

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