Nearly 6 Months

Sometimes I feel so sad. I can’t believe it’s nearly been 6 months since my sweet girl returned to Heaven. It just feels so unreal, like it couldn’t possibly be true. I miss her so much! I miss her beautiful voice, her bubbly laughter and her spontaneity. I miss seeing her gorgeous auburn hair sparkle in the sun with fine strands of gold woven in with her natural curls. How can that audacious, opinionated, star be gone so far away to sparkle without me?

It’s hard to continue on with traditions as old as she was. This year over the 4^th of July I just couldn’t take a family picture at the cabin before the rodeo. It seemed too much like all the years before. I missed hearing her ooos and aaahs over the fireworks, and posing for me to take her photo here and there over the long weekend.  

At Thanksgiving when we were at the cabin we brought a new game for the Kinect. It was something about Disneyland, and you could “meet” the characters and go around the park and fly with Peter Pan and stuff like that. She played it for so many hours that her arms were really sore the next day. I remember seeing her face when she was done and how much she’d enjoyed it. She kept asking me to come and see it and for some dumb reason or another I only ended up coming done for a very few minutes. I wish I’d taken more time with her.

I say that and then I realize that this weekend I didn’t spend much time with my two other kids and everyone else. I kept working on my computer because then I didn’t have to think about how much it hurts and how much I miss her. Maybe I’ll go out and try to play for awhile.